Hey Man, what’re you doing tonight? Nothing? Me either. What do you say we take a few hits from my two-footer and put a few of my Nomeansno records on my turntable? Then we’ll totally overanalyze ever riff, beat, and vocal harmonization that the band ever made in their 30-year history.
Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but we also both know we have nothing better to do. And come on, man, it’s Nomeansno, the band that we’ve been worshipping since the mid-1990s when we first got into punk rock. The band we’ve been over-appreciating and admiring to the point of absurdity for over the past ten years. Of course you remember. We’ve spent hours debating about which one of us is the bigger fan of the band (me) and which one of us is the hanger-on who has to rely on the other for introduction to great new musical acts (you).
So let’s do this. Let’s smoke until we cough and listen and re-listen to all of the band’s finer musicianship. Why don’t we read the lyrics to “The Land of the Living” and elbow each other’s sides? Do you hear these lyrics? I mean, I know you’re here in the room with me, listening to Rob Wright sing them. But do you really hear these lyrics. I mean really hear them? And what about “Tired of Waiting?” You have to listen to that bass line. It’s definitely a reference point to the band’s jazz-fusion background that they explored more on Mama, which is their first album, in case you don’t have it.
I have it if you want to listen to it.
Actually, why don’t we put on Worldhood of the World, (As Such)? That’s their first album with Tom Holliston and it’s probably, like, their most underrated of all time. I mean, listen to the song “Humans.” Really listen to it. It’s fucking amazing. And then there’s that funk breakdown in “My Politics.” How random! A funk breakdown! Get out of here.
Did you buy All Roads Lead to Ausfahrt? It’s one of the newer Nomeans album, and holy shit is it brilliant! “Heaven is the Dust Beneath my Shoes” is classic Nomeansno. And “Slugs are Burning,” holy shit, what are they a pop band now? I mean, they always had their side project, Hansen Brothers, but when did they get the idea to augment that pop-punk sound with maniacal brilliance that is Nomeansno?
It’s brilliant. Just brilliant.
Dude, let’s get serious here. Do you want to get serious, or are we just fucking around? Don’t just say you want to get serious if you don’t really want to get serious, because I’ll fucking cut this party short right now and pretend like it never happened.
Alright, alright. Let’s get serious.
Fucking Wrong, man. Fucking Wrong. Let’s put it on. “Have you heard the news? The dead walk.” Holy FUCK! Now that’s what I’m talking about. Listen to that, man. Listen. Listen to that high-hat and that guitar. And those toms and that guitar. And that snare and that bass and that guitar. “It’s catching up. I’m fucked!” Listen to that. Wait, hold on. Let me pick up the needle right now.
We’re starting the record over again. You weren’t really listening, were you? Oh you were, were you? Because I don’t think you were. I mean what’s the point of putting all these records on the turntable if you aren’t even going to listen? Are you ready to listen or what?
Okay, okay. I’ll put the record back on, but only if you really listen. I mean, listen to that. Holy shit, listen to that! Goddamn that’s good.
Hey, where are you going? We still have a few more albums to go. What about Dance of the Headless Bourgeoisie or The Day Everything Became Nothing? Oh you have to be at work tomorrow, do you? Hmm. I don’t remember you mentioning that when we started this listening party. What? You’re really going because you can’t bring yourself to over appreciate Nomeansno as much as I do? You find my obsession with this band off-putting and perhaps a bit creepy?
Hmm. Well I guess you’re not as big of a fan as I am. Fine then. Go. See if I care.
Why doesn’t anyone want to be friends with me?